is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
