Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
