I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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