Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
