That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
