At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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