oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
