i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
