My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
