So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We talked him into tasing himself.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize