So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh god it's open bar.
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