Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
