my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
