How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
