don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
