How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
