whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
