Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
