I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The air was thick with penises
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
