There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
