That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
