I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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