my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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