Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
