I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
