I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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