is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Actions speak louder than pants.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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