You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
