I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
