i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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