Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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