I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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