i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize