I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
