Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
