Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize