dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
