you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize