I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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