ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
its liver damage thursday
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
