Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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