Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I skipped work to stalk him.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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