hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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