I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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