Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
