Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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