you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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