its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
