he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize