Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
