i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
