That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
