There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
