Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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