Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you get engaged???
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize