Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize