I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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