i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
