Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
