You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
