it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
