Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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