I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
