its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
