im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize