It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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